“There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen
and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.” James Carroll

I recently came across an article written for CFO’s that cited a study which “found that 65% of American adults” sleep with their cell phones. The article alluded to the increased pressure to work longer hours in the face of current economic pressures, something most of us probably feel to varying degrees every day. Not to mention the pressures of trying to balance all that with our desire to honor the creative self which brings with it it’s own unique pressures.

The article suggested that, given all the investments CFO’s make into their businesses, one of the most important might just be an investment in downtime. “Planned and mindful slacking off,” it suggested, “may help optimize talent performance.” And the same is true for the rest of us: investing in our own downtime may help optimize the rest of our lives (not just work-related activities, but regarding the time we spend with our families, our creative endeavors, other personal interactions, and our own mental and physical health).

Another article in the Harvard Business Review claims that “drawing brighter lines between work and time off — family, friends, outside activities, and old-fashioned daydreaming — has clear benefits for productivity, creativity, and wellness. There’s an upside to downtime.”

Take a Seat and Relax

There’s a reason the business world is noticing this essential fact. They’re designed to explore the best ways to maximize performance and to reduce costs and they’re seeing the humans who work for them in that light. But how often do we examine our own lives that way?

It’s not all about dollars and cents though, but about common sense. After all, relaxation affects the body, the mind, and the emotions. Relaxation can improve things like blood pressure and other heart-related problems associated with stress, maintaining the immune system, memory and the clarity of thought, and so on. Physiological and psychological benefits to every aspect of our lives, perhaps most especially to the parts associated more with our interaction with families and our interaction with ourselves than with our jobs.

Though daydreaming can certainly get you off task at times, some studies suggest that a certain element of daydreaming labeled “mind wandering,” may also be helpful for problem solving, creativity, and keeping “you on course for long-term goals.”

Taking time to relax, to slow down and be mindful of the moment, to do activities like yoga or meditation, enjoy a massage, or go for a walk can recharge your energy and your spirit, but it can also provide an assortment of other benefits. We hope you take some time this week (even if that is merely for fifteen minutes a few days) to just be, to relax, to breathe, to find your “tonic strength.” This can add to your well being as well as to your creativity. Namaste!

Photo Credit Yoga by MeditationMusic

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How much of your day is influenced by time?

It’s somewhat ironic that the one thing our lives are inseparably tangled in (and with) is the very thing we tend to feel a dearth of – TIME. There just isn’t enough of it! Though chances are, as with most things, if we had more of it, we’d probably just find more ways to give it away and, in the end, we’d still feel like we were always running short.

Do you have the luxury of waking up simply when your body is ready to wake up on its own? Or do you “have to get up” at a certain time to officially begin your day? Do you have specific duties that have to be done at (or by) certain times? Getting the kids to school, for example, which might mean getting them up, preparing breakfast, lunches, making sure they’re wearing clothing (and that it’s not yours), driving them or making sure they make it to the bus “on time.” What then? How about afternoons? Evenings? Are weekends different? Does time unravel just a bit at the end of the week, does it loosen up a little, or do you have even more to get done then?

Over the next week (that’s seven days starting from the moment you read this), I’m going to ask you to give one person a gift. If I asked you to choose someone you know who needs to catch his/her breath, you might think of your spouse, your parents, your boss, your employee, your friend, your neighbor, and so on. Just deciding who to pick might take time you don’t really have. So I’ve picked for you. Just this once.

The person I’m asking you to give the gift to is YOU!

There’s no money involved. Nothing material. The gift is TIME. Maybe it’s 30-minutes. Maybe it’s one hour. Maybe it’s an afternoon or an evening. I’ll leave the specifics up to you (except it needs to be at least half an hour).

You might even try this with your partner, your best friend, your sister or brother, and reciprocate (they help you give yourself this gift of time and then you help them do the same for themselves).

I’m asking you, however, to NOT say, “I’ll give you an hour and you can give me one.” No, I want you to GIVE YOURSELF the hour (or the half hour or whatever you decide). Maybe they help make that possible by picking up the kids for school one morning or by letting your kids spend the night or by making you dinner one evening so you can got for a nice long walk. Maybe you don’t need to bring anyone else in at all.

The key is that it is YOU giving the gift (of TIME) to YOU.

I used to always think that if I focus on myself and put myself first, even for just one hour, that I would be selfish. I’ve spent pretty much a lifetime doing just the opposite, making time for myself only after everyone else had their time. Finding scraps and duct taping them together into half-an-hour here or there. Recently, I realized something. Call it an epiphany, perhaps, but whatever it was I realized that NOT GIVING MYSELF ANY TIME FOR MYSELF is being SELFISH. After all, how stressed do we get? How easy is it to get overwhelmed by all the things that are out of our control, out of our hands? Having no time to ourselves, just tends to keep us stressed. We need to be able to have healthy outlets for that negative, often pent-up energy. Not doing so can lead to many of our problems – hypertension and over-indulging in unhealthy habits, feelings of frustration and even resentment (toward the people we give our time to and toward ourselves), feeling like we’re suffocating or drowning or that everything is out of control.

I’m not suggesting that giving yourself 30 minutes a week will make everything in the universe line up and fall into place. Then again, I am suggesting that the chances for it doing so are pretty slim if you don’t at least give yourself a little time for you.

I remember when the Robin William’s movie Dead Poet’s Society came out and the phrase Carpe Diem seemed instantly resurrected. I guess, you could say that the philosophy of seizing the day was “trending” after that for quite awhile. The idea was very appealing, after all. And even the word “seizing” carried a certain ferocity and forcefulness which implied that TIME was something to be taken, to be ripped from the hands of, um, Eternity perhaps, the Alpha & Omega, TIME itself? It suggested that “the day” belonged to something else, not that we tend to parcel it off.

As much as I felt drawn toward, even compelled to do some seizing of my own, there was another part of the concept that felt potentially problematic and that was the word “concern” (and this is probably just one guy’s misinterpretation of the original intent). The definition you usually find of carpe diem is to “enjoy today without concern for tomorrow.” But many of the people I observed seizing the day seemed to interpret the word “concern” to mean without giving any thought whatsoever to tomorrow.

What happens, sometimes, in the quest for carpe diem is that people immerse themselves in enjoying (in having fun) today not just without any concerns, but also without considering the future, without considering the myriad ways that fun might ripple into future moments. Being mindful is different, it suggests that an awareness of the present moment brings its own, unique, enjoyment. The enjoyment is an intrinsic byproduct of slowing down.

I mention this because, you don’t want to give yourself the gift of time and use it doing something that, in the end, will cost you even more time than you’ve given. Focus on the present moment, focus on the TIME you give yourself, use it to do something that doesn’t require “concern (meaning fear/worry/anxiety), but that does consider the future. Slowing down enough to get together, for example, with a friend for a glass of wine and chatting is one thing. Getting intoxicated is another, for that tends to impact the effectiveness and use of future time as well.

This is a chance to listen. To pay attention to your true self. To slow down and do one things that matters to you. For you! And, in turn, by giving yourself that time, by pursuing that one thing that makes you truly happy, you are giving a gift to others.

Maybe you’re not sure what to do with the time that you give yourself. Maybe you want to try your hand at painting, but what good is half an hour? Maybe you find a class that meets for 30-60 minutes once a week and that’s your gift to yourself. Maybe you just sit down in a room somewhere by yourself (and you let everyone know this is your time and that it’s important) and you hunker down uninterrupted and you just draw (you can even find tips and free instructions for getting started online). Maybe you do that once a week. Only you know what matters to you.

If you still have no idea, here are a few things you might devote the GIFT OF TIME to once a week:

• That Thing You Love Most (listen to yourself and see what you have to say)
• Breathing (simple techniques like bumblebee breath and alternate nostril breathing can be calming)
• Tree Pose (a yoga pose – anyone can try – that can increase your sense of balance and focus)
• Half-an-Hour Devoted to ONE Task Only (NO, watching TV does not count)
• Write a Letter (yes, with paper and pen) – it doesn’t have to be long, but it should take you 5-10 minutes to write. The act of using your body (not just your fingertips) to transcribe thoughts and feelings and memories into words has different effects on the mind and the emotions than using a computer or smartphone.
• Go for a Walk (outside, yes even in winter, maybe even especially in winter – moving your body is great therapy and chances are you have clothing you can use for layers, but do stay warm)
• Get a Massage (this one might cost a little cash, unless you have a friend or partner who can give you one, but the rewards can be many)
• Pedicure (I’ve never done this, but just think about having someone else tend to the part of your body upon which most of us carry everything: you get your toes cleaned and your feet massaged and buffed, even if you skip the polishing part, and the best thing of all is that you’re spending that gifted time slowing down)
• Read a Great Book (this is one of my favorites and can provide the needed distractions that TV provides without the sometime shifts in volume and energy, it stimulates the brain, and can allow you to learn a little about the world and a lot about yourself)
• Sip some tea or a glass of wine (with a friend or by a sunny window or just in a space where you can do so and actually enjoy the tea or the wine)
• Have/Let Someone Else Make the Meal (yes, maybe cleaning up becomes a bit more of a task and maybe it’s also a chance to work together for some bonding, but letting the kids take over one evening, assuming they haven’t been required by the local fire department to stay away from flames – and even, then, there are some great no-flame-required meals to be made – or if not the kids, then a spouse or, if you try the reciprocity alluded to up top, you and your friend or sister or brother or spouse or partner simply swap one night)
• Have/Let Someone Else Watch the Kids (yes, this might require some serious bribery, but just think of it as an investment in your children’s future – i.e. you get away for an hour, are less stressed, which increases the chances of them not getting on your nerves quite as much and, thus, having a future)
• A Night Out with Friends (only you know what that might entail, but remember carpe diem without “concern” over tomorrow, but with a little consideration).

Whatever you do, give yourself the GIFT of TIME. It doesn’t have to be spent doing some life-changing thing like sky diving or volunteering halfway across the world for a month with UNICEF (though it certainly can be).

Maybe it’s an afternoon, or an hour, or half an hour (it should be at least half-an-hour). Believe it or not (and the point is, after all), that just those 30 minutes a week can be life-changing in the end.

And I get the whole, “But I don’t have time to do this,” that is a natural reaction to my suggestion. I get how that’s what you might instinctively feel in your gut and think the instant you see those words. I know busy! But how much time do you spend a day flipping between channels or surfing the internet or doing just one of the countless other things we do to distract ourselves. Ironically, if you try some of those suggested things above, you might be surprised at how they can help you sculpt time (at how much time you find, once you give yourself some time). Chances are, if someone else needed that gift, you’d make time to make it happen. So why not do so for yourself (it ends up being for them, too)?!

Only you can decide how much time and what you do with it, but starting small tends to increase chances for success. Don’t give yourself an afternoon if it means you spend the next three weeks making up for it and reinforcing the fact that you just can’t take time for yourself. You can. You should.

Cave

by Greg Pape (from the book Animal Time)

On a wooded hill in San Raphael
not far from the house
was a small cave

where the earth was damp, the rock walls
cool and rough, and there were green scents
of moss and mint.

It was a wonder and a shelter
to look out from.
The ancestors of my young bones

would sit down quietly there
and gaze out of my eyes
into the leaves and branches

sifting the sunlight.
If someone spoke, it was a bird
or a voice too far off to make out the words.

(charts of time usage from the Bureau of Labor Statistics)

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What is Resolution?

In fiction, a Resolution is the event in the story that solves (or resolves) the conflict. While in photography, the term has to do with the sharpness of the image, with clarity in the sense that the lower the resolution the more pixelated or blurry the image. When I thought about these two things, I saw the act of making a Resolution in a different way. As an attempt to solve a main conflict. As an act needed to create an image that most clearly represents the original, the authentic thing. With these ideas in mind, I see a resolution as a positive thing, as a way of ending some sort of misalignment of your values and your actions, and also as a way of being clear about who you truly are. But that has not always been the case.

When I was young, the idea of New Year’s Resolutions always left a sour taste in my mouth. I don’t recall ever making them, though many people I knew did each year. I think the biggest reason I resisted was because for me the word resolution had taken on a rather negative connotation. One that implied something that was wrong, something that had been neglected, something that you did because you were supposed to, and so on. You quit drinking because for the past year you drank too much. You quit smoking because, well, you may have put yourself (and others) in a less than healthy situation. You promised yourself you’d lose weight because for one reason or another you didn’t maintain the weight you should have.

Now, I realize, some resolutions are to add something to your life (like learn a new language, travel around the world, help others.) But when I was growing up, the resolutions that I was aware of most were the ones that seemed to suggest a sudden need to fix something that you may have been aware of all along, but suddenly with the arrival of the new year it was time to actually act on that.

I never made those resolutions, but not because I didn’t neglect things in my life or overdo things, or ignore things that needed to be heeded. I avoided making them, mostly, because of those negative connotations I mentioned.

This year, we had a very laid back, simple New Year’s Eve. And I was invited to take part in an activity that I had never thought about before. That’s right, we went out in the snow. But before we did, we made a list of all the things we intended to let go of in 2013. We also made a list of the way we wanted to feel in the coming year. I’ll admit it, when I first heard of the idea, I sort of tilted my head a bit to the side and wondered, is there a purpose to this. But I soon found there is.

It’s not some new aged thing either. It turns out to actually be an emotional thing. A mental thing. And, oddly enough, because of those two parts, it also turns out to be a physical thing.

I made my list and, surprisingly, the things I wanted to let go of came fast and furious. I have a tendency to try to help everyone. Noble, perhaps, but not very healthy. I mean, people do need to figure their own stuff out. So I decided I needed to let go of certain moments of intended helpfulness. I decided to let go of taking things personally. Of expecting other people to slow down and be considerate of the things I thought they should. I guess you could say, I decided to let go of some subconscious propensity to try to avoid negative outcomes in other people’s lives and focus more on my own life, more on the positive current moments in my life. Making that list felt a lot like venting to someone via a letter. Only no one was going to see it. And that felt surprisingly liberating.

Making the list of how I wanted to feel was a little more awkward at first, only because I had to turn the spotlight onto myself and, specifically, onto my emotions. But I thought back on that quote a friend wrote in her novel, to “treat yourself the way you’d want other people to treat you.” So, I thought, in an ideal world, how would I want to feel about my work, my choices, my fitness, my mental acuity, and so on. Soon, I was making another rapid-fire list. And each time I wrote down a positive feeling, I felt different. As if, word by word, I was brightening inside.

Now, most people who know me, know that I’m a positive person. I tend to be the guy who brings levity and humor and smiles and positive energy to most situations. And you might be the same way. But even if you are, how often do you stop to think about all the wonderful ways you’d like to feel about your life, about yourself?

I started thinking about my goals, my dreams, and also about the myriad challenges that I face each day and how I truly wanted to feel after experiencing those challenges (and a desired positive feeling meant success, after all, meant overcoming or effectively encountering those challenges). Without even consciously setting out to do so, I started to see myself achieving things, finishing my novel . . . no not just finishing it, making it amazing . . . yes, amazing, and then there were agents calling me, not just sending a letter, but calling me – “we want to work with you” – and editors, and so on. And with each image (which I had not set out to create, and maybe that’s why the whole thing struck me so), I started to feel better and better, more and more energized, more and more excited about all the possibilities.

Then we were told, “fold your lists and bring them with you.” We went out into the cold, the blustery wind, put an aluminum bowl in the snow, gave up the list of things we wanted to let go of, and burned it. We burned the list of how we want to feel. Words were said, honoring this aspect of ourselves and also the act itself, so that it wasn’t merely symbolic and yet was very symbolic. I’d never done this activity before, but found it much more interesting than I had thought I would. In part because I felt a bit more open, a bit lighter, a bit more free (like after the biggest of sighs). I hadn’t made an actual promise to stop neglecting this part of my life or to undo this mistake, yet that’s exactly what I had done.

Since that night, I’ve found myself in situations and I stopped and reflected on how, “no, you were letting go of that,” and I’ve reminded myself, “you wanted to feel good about the time you spent doing that.” And, in reminding myself, my emotions have shifted. And my thoughts have shifted. And I have noticed a change in how I’ve felt physically. And I know the words “feeling” and “emotion” are often used interchangeably even though they have different meanings. I do it myself. But the thing is, I noticed a change in the way my body felt as a result of the change in my emotional state.

I’m not saying you need to try this activity, but all it takes is some paper, a pen, a match, and some fire safety. That’s not much of an investment, but the return can be quite surprising.

In thinking about New Year’s Resolutions (and that mostly negative connotation I grew up associating with the idea behind them), I’m not going to suggest that you give up setting them if that’s what you do. But I will ask you to consider this – do you make resolutions because you think you need to, because you have to make up for what you failed to do the previous year, because you’ve neglected some aspect of your life and you need to make it right? Doing something because you think you should, or out of feelings of guilt, is a reason why making resolutions often fail.

If you make any new year’s resolutions, I wish you much success. Perhaps you might try keeping that element of fiction in mind. Perhaps you might approach them with that element of photography in mind. Choose a resolution that ends a conflict by helping you re-align your values with your actions. One that allows you to be clear about who you truly are (not how you look to others, not how you think others want you to appear, but to most closely represent the original, the authentic, you)!

A resolution doesn’t need to be a revolution (an all out uprising, a complete and dramatic change). If we try each day to bring ourselves into focus, to present (to ourselves as much as to anyone else) a clear image of who we truly are, we won’t find ourselves at the end of the year feeling like we have to make up for not being ourselves.

Try letting go of something you need to let go of (maybe just start with one thing). And try making a list of the ways you want to feel. You might just be surprised at how quickly you start to feel that way.

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Ever feel like, no matter what you try, it’s just not happening?

A writer recently asked us: “What strategies do you employ when you just feel like it’s not happening? ‘Just sit down and do it’ works well most of the time, and I usually find (as with physical exercise) when I’m finished I can’t imagine not having done it. However, there are days when the inspiration can’t be found.”

There are a number of things I do that help with this situation when it comes to writing (but also related to getting projects done for work, exercising, eating healthy, having fun, and so on). Since a writer posed the question, I’ll relate my responses to writing mostly, but will also try to tie the ideas in to those other things as well.

I’ll start with a reworked concept that you’ve probably heard before. It’s the K.I.S.S. philosophy (but instead of Keep It Simple, Stupid, as the acronym was commonly bantered about when I was younger, we’re creatively reusing it to mean):

• Kindness
• Intention
• Simplicity
• Slack

Kindness – in the sense of being affectionate and loving and sympathetic, but also in the sense of mindfully extending compassion. Kindness and Compassion are traits highly regarded when it comes to how you should treat others, but we sometimes forget that it’s equally important to treat ourselves this way.

Sometimes a gesture as seemingly insignificant as extending compassion to yourself can free up creative energy, as we tend to be hardest on ourselves. We tend to be judgmental with regards to our work – not just when it’s done, but while we’re writing, and sometimes before we even begin (this last phenomenon is a result of our judgment of ourselves – of self-doubt or a lack of confidence in our ability – which can happen, just so you know, to even the most successful of writers).

The Dalai Lama said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Consider that it really is an act of kindness and compassion to just begin. To trust in the fact that confidence comes not from thinking about being more confident and not from outside of yourself. Rather, it comes from doing, from engaging yourself in the work and accepting what comes as a teaching. Rather than look at your work and think, “Not good enough,” ask, “What does this have to teach me?” This way you’re always growing. Confidence is a natural byproduct of growth. And it can start with a little self-compassion. A little kindness.

Setting a specific Intention is a very important element to creativity. But in order to be inspired, you need to identify what interests you, what you are drawn to or compelled to write.

I’m a quote person. I like finding pithy comments by wise people and applying them to my life. I came by the following quote from Rudyard Kipling quite by accident while working on this post:

Writers and creatives and students of mythology might recognize the word daemon from it’s mythological context meaning “spirit guides, forces of nature or the gods themselves,” that were benevolent or helpful. In this regard, think of your own daemon not as part of your conscious mind, not as part of the thinking self, as much as it is your felt or intuitive self, your spirit. Your muse, after all, that source of inspiration you sometimes wait for to show itself, is really an extension of you, it’s this part of your creative spirit.

Kipling’s point is often essential to successful writing (or to any sort of creating, goal reaching). The harder we try to think our way into a scene or a line of poetry (or through an obstacle) the more we may write a few words, shake our heads, start over, shake our heads, and end up spending half an hour (or half a day) with nothing much to show for it except raised levels of anxiety.

Move your body (go for a walk, do a few yoga poses), focus on your breathing, and things open up. That’s why, for me, setting Intentions is one of the most important steps. And when I say Intention, I don’t mean, “Well, I intend to write the blasted novel. Hello!” I mean, setting a specific intention. Maybe you started a new chapter yesterday with your protagonist, Simon. So your intention this morning is simple – I want to be willing to go wherever Simon wants to take me, or I want to be open to whatever Simon has to tell me. That intention becomes the idea you float towards. And you wait for whatever comes up. And you obey (i.e. you listen). You’ll be surprised at just how much you find once you do that.

One of the best ways I’ve found for sparking inspiration is by setting an intention. Bringing your attention to the breath and sinking into your body and out of the head is the first step to setting an intention. And now the rational mind is no longer manning the boat.

Effective ways of setting intentions is actually one of the things we work on with the people we coach and mentor. It allows you to then let go of the conscious thought and stop attempting to force your will on the writing, to dictate what comes next (you’ve put the seed in your mind so now allow yourself to float that way). Annie Dillard says that writing happens when (and where) the imagination meets memory, in that dark place called the unconscious mind. Setting an Intention is like entering a deep, dark ocean cave, shining a light on a spot across the way, then pushing off in that direction and allowing yourself to float, wait, obey.

That’s vastly different from merely floating along with no intention, going wherever fate might take you, as setting your intention allows you to have a say in where you’re headed and then it allows you to get out of your own way and see where your unconscious mind wants to take you.

Simplicity (this is the one part from that original K.I.S.S. acronym that I like to hold onto).

We can make things complicated in striving for perfection rather than for a specific outcome. Perfection isn’t specific . . . it’s subjective . . . it’s a judgement. Ironically, it often keeps you from creating something good (in part because it often keeps you from creating). There’s a time and a place for evaluating the awesomeness of your writing. That time and place is best left until after you’ve finished, at the editing table (even then perfection can be paralyzing). However, sometimes we think about all the books already out there, and a part of us sometimes thinks we need to be perfect in order to get there, if that’s the aim, and even if it’s not we sometimes feel a need for perfection (less mental and more emotional). As if only then will what we write have value. Trouble is – seeking perfection while you write sort of puts a stranglehold on creativity. It’s stifling, suffocating, strangling.

Perfection, after all, is concerned with the outcome, the product, the destination. Simplicity implies a path to an outcome. Step by step. And one way to do this is by shifting your focus.

Chances are you know whether or nor you’re a perfectionist. If you’re judging your work before you even write it or as you go. If you do either of these things and you find yourself struggling at times, then maybe you need to try something different. Each day you sit down to write, don’t focus on quality. Focus on quantity. Set yourself a goal of writing so many words for that day (and as with any goal, make sure it’s realistic). If you only get 15 minutes a day to write, then 1,000 words might be unrealistic and could result in every bit as much pressure as seeking perfection.

And remember, this shift in focus does not mean you won’t focus on quality. You most certainly will. After you get the words out. After your story has been told, your poem revealed.

I had the chance to Skype with a good friend (not to mention a talented writer and visual artist) earlier this week and it was the first time we’ve seen each other or chatted in a very long time. We discussed the Extraordinary Time Writer’s Retreat that Cathy, Terry and I will be having in August 2013 in New Harmony, but we also discussed our own writing projects and how both of us, for the first time, tried the NaNoWriMo challenge of writing a novel in one month.

We both found the experience to be empowering. In part because we were open to writing a novel that we weren’t all that committed to since the primary goal was to get out 50,000 words in thirty days (the focus was not on perfection). The focus was, quite simply, on writing whatever came to us related to whatever idea or character we were centering our novel around (related to whatever intention we set each day). With NaNoWriMo, the word count is the thing and Julie and I both found this experience to be very liberating. It also re-ignited a spark in her to return to an older project, as it reminded her of two very important things that we can sometimes lose sight of (especially when we try to be perfect) – she could, in fact, write a complete story all the way through and how much fun it was to be at the page (and how much fun it was to make myriad discoveries along the way).

Focusing on quantity first is simple – this many words each day without judgment. That goal is achieved and your confidence grows. Pretty soon you start to realize, I can do this. I can write.

Think of a sculpture (and Sculpt could be an additional S for our acronym). In particular, think of the sort of sculpture that’s made by starting with raw material and working it down, carving away the superfluous, the flawed, bringing out the beauty, revealing it, polishing it. Sure there are other ways to sculpt, but let’s just use the metaphor of starting with this raw material and working it until you bring out the special something inside. Focusing solely on word count allows you to get that raw material together. (And, if you need some sort of external push to feel motivated, you can use the NaNoWriMo model any month you want, or you can submit to writing contests that have deadlines and word counts – just break the total number of words down to a manageable daily amount and go).

You might just find this to be cathartic. And, if you’re like Julie, you might realize once you allow yourself to just get the story out without controlling it so much that the real story inside all that raw material isn’t the middle grade fantasy you thought it was going to be. Maybe it’s a young adult novel or a crossover historical novel, something you may have never realized if you hadn’t just let the words out. Because when we’re not trying to impose our will on our work, sometimes the characters speak up, sometimes they wave us down and say, “Hey, this is what I really think. This is who I really am. This is where I’m really headed.” If we give them a chance to take shape and if we allow ourselves to listen, we might just find something even more beautiful inside that raw material than we had ever expected.

Show yourself some kindness, set a specific intention each time you sit down as to what direction you want to go in, what you want to be open to as you write, and keep the measuring part simple by judging something like word count. For one thing, word count isn’t a reflection of you and your talent or your worth as a writer. Seeking perfection isn’t just a judgement of the value of the words you use, but of your ability to craft them. First craft the story. Then shape the words into something remarkable.

Once you have the words out you can go back and look at quality, section by section, with the full arc of the story in mind. Simplicity also suggests, as in the following quote by accomplished author Alice Hoffman, that it’s our judgement that often complicates things, that makes writing almost seem impossible some days. Word count, page count, form, these things are rather like the “expelliarmus” charms learned by Harry Potter and his friends, charms that disarm our opponent – the inner-critic. And that can make all the difference in the end.

“. . . the only way out for me was to start writing, and through the process of writing, something appeared. I decided I would write five pages a day and not look at them for three weeks. Part of having writer’s block is feeling it’s worthless or you’re worthless and you can’t do it right. [You have to tell] yourself, “I’m just going to write, and I’m not going to look at it. I’m not going to judge it” (Alice Hoffman).

The final S is the word Slack (but not in the way you might initially think, not the adjective as in negligent, but as in not tight or taut; not the verb as in to shirk or avoid work, but as in to release tension or loosen; and not the noun as in a cessation of movement or flow, but as in something that hangs loose without strain, as in additional relief from pressure).

We mean Slack as in allow for some slack in the line . . . as in slacken. Consider the metaphor of a rope tethering you to a spot and the rope is so tight that you can’t move, not one bit. In order to write, to create, you need to be able to move, not just your body as alluded to earlier, but also your mind, you emotional energy, your spirit. Einstein stated, “Nothing happens until something moves.” When we’re stuck we need to move. As writers we can get so tight, so bound up in this tug-of-war scenario between all or nothing. So, if we can add some slack to the rope, if we can add some play to the line by playing, we often find ourselves free enough to create, to become quite productive.

Here are three simple ways we’ve found to slacken that rope and to, quite literally, add some “play” to the writing life:

1. Try a prompt (one that allows you to explore or attempt something new about or with your characters or your story)
2. 
Take a hike outside (nature is therapeutic and can be helpful to a writer is too many ways to list here, but will appear in another post for sure, but consider for starters that it helps you reconnect with your senses)
3. Turn on some music and let your body respond to the rhythms any way it wants – this way you’re practicing getting out of your own way

Try our K.I.S.S. method and see if it doesn’t help you spend more time at the page and get more out of the time you spend there. But don’t evaluate the latter until you get all of whatever you’re writing out.

The nice thing about K.I.S.S. is that you don’t have to do all the parts to make it work (though I’d strongly recommend your trying them all). Start with one. Some parts will work better for you and other parts will work better for someone else. You might just rely on one of these things regularly if it speaks to you and allows you to open up and be receptive and write. That’s the goal, after all. Just write.

“Ah yes,” wrote Edward Abbey, “the head is full of books. The hard part is to force them down through the bloodstream and out through the fingers.”

The important thing is that we need to get out of our heads to write . . . it’s got to come through the body, the bloodstream, the fingers . . . and kindness, intention, simplicity, and allowing for some slack in the rope of creating is a way to do that.

Photo credit – Drew Coffman – permission acquired via creative commons agreement.

The post What To Do When Inspiration Can’t Be Found appeared first on The Best Me.

Happiness is not one of those things that just happens to you. Yet it is one of those values we do, at times, seem to treat as a tangible thing floating around out there in the air somewhere just waiting for us to come along and scoop it up into our hands.

Rather than share any so-called secrets to happiness (which would require me to pretend to know them in the first place), I’d really just like to draw your attention to one. One single word to be precise.

BALANCE.

In yoga we seek “equanimity” or a balance between mind, body and spirit. We talk about the importance of having our values and our actions in alignment. Peace of mind. Feeling fulfilled. Happiness. It’s all about balance, really, isn’t it?

When we (The Best Me) help people re-connect with their true selves, re-imagine the possibilities in their lives, and re-write their stories, we also help them examine the essential elements that make up their lives.

We help them align their values with their thoughts and their actions. To find a sense of balance.

I’m not foolish enough to suggest that you can just take a look at the fundamental parts of your life and make sure each part gets the exact same amount of focus, but I am ambitious enough to want you to be mindful of the distribution of attention you currently give each part. Chances are there’s at least one part of your life that’s out of balance.

There are many of these integral aspects of life – like relationships and career and movement and spirituality – to name a few (and each of those can be broken down further). The more these aspects of your life are in balance, the happier you tend to be.

But don’t mistake balance as perfection!

If you ever have the good fortune of going to a live ballet performance, if you sit away from the stage a bit (or watch at home on TV) you see the gracefulness and the seemingly effortless balance of the dancer sprouting from her toes, holding that delicate impossible pose. If you sit close to the stage, however, you might just notice the slight, constant, nearly imperceptible adjustments she makes.

That’s what balance is, really, or what makes it possible, all those many minor adjustments. It’s not about being perfect, but about moving into and with your imperfections.

Your relationships, for example – with food, with your family, with your friends, with your partner, and with yourself – are all very important to your happiness. In order to find balance, however, that doesn’t mean each relationship gets exactly 4.3 hours each week devoted to it.

It’s probably not too hard to see that being self-centered or putting yourself first is one way to get your relationships out of balance. But, it should be noted, that being selfless to the extreme and putting yourself last is just as likely to throw things out of sync. If you do the former, the other people in your life often feel deprived, unappreciated, and resentful. If you do the latter, you often feel those exact same things (and not just toward yourself).

It sometimes feels impossible to devote time and energy to your partner when you feel the pressure of finances and work and the sad reality that every single team sport and extracurricular activity the kids want to do and should be able to do costs a small fortune and requires countless hours of driving and the holidays are looming around the corner and . . . so we spend more time working, more time trying to generate enough income to take care of all that. We shouldn’t feel badly or guilty for doing that, though, for such feelings also put our lives out of balance.

The last thing we might feel we have time or energy for, in other words, is a romantic dinner for two (that just might not seem possible most of the time). And that’s understandable. But what about setting aside half an hour a week for an evening walk? What about taking just fifteen minutes where you stop and look into your partner’s eyes and maybe hold his/her hand again and flirt a little and laugh. That’s often enough. It’s about being mindful.

Working 70-80 hour weeks is sometimes just the way it is. But that’s why, more than ever, being mindful of those other elements is so important. It’s not about spending 70 hours on work and 70 on family and 70 on your significant other and 70 on friends and 70 on yourself. But what about giving some of those elements that aren’t getting an equal distribution of your time a little attention?

Being aware of them is a big part of creating a sense of balance.

Setting aside a little time every now and then for you to have your own space (maybe just going for a walk or sitting somewhere quiet and reading) and every so often having lunch with a friend and every so often you and your partner just slowing down long enough to truly see each other. It all helps because your relationships are really extensions of who you are. To neglect them or become disconnected from them means you’re also depriving yourself the chance to be completely yourself.

Your career is important. It’s not just about the time you spend on your job. It’s about drawing your awareness to the various tasks that make up your job, identifying the parts that you like most (maybe even love) and the parts you like least (maybe even loathe). Finding balance here is again, not necessarily a literal down-to-the-second distribution of time, but maybe it’s simply finding a way to make sure that one thing you love about the job gets some time each day (if possible, only you know). That way the thing you loathe might not be so annoying.

Balance comes, it seems, not simply from being aware of just how complex our lives are and of the multifarious relationships we have, but also from being aware of how connected we are to each of those aspects of our lives. It comes from recognizing the parts of ourselves that matter to us at the deepest level and giving ourselves permission to honor those parts in some way.

The more aware you are of how much of yourself you give to each of the elements the easier it is to shift things that are out of balance, to make those minor adjustments. Being happy doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is exactly even, but happiness often happens with greater frequency the more “in balance” your life is.

Here are just a few questions to ask yourself to at least get thinking about whether you have things in or out of balance?

1. What are the most significant relationships in your life right now (go ahead, make a list,
no one needs to see it but you)?
2. Did you put yourself on the list? If not, do it now (sometimes we just need to be bossy).
3. Of the following relationships you have, which gets more time, energy, attention:
    food
    career (business associates/colleagues/clients)
    family
    friends
    partner/significant other/mate/spouse
    yourself (your body, your mind, your heart/spirit)
4, Can you identify one part of your life that might be out of balance?
5. What is one small thing you can do starting today to bring even the slightest of balance back to that part of your life?

(And remember, we’re not suggesting some huge shift; sometimes just drawing your awareness to that out of balance part of your life, and acknowledging the disparity, and giving that specific part of yourself a few minutes each day is enough to tip the scale back in the direction of happiness.)

Finding balance in our lives requires us to slow down every now and then, not so much to remind ourselves about what’s important, but to simply become mindful of those essential parts. Because only when we are aware of them can we make sure we’re giving each of them the necessary attention.

If you feel sad or frustrated or lost or stuck, chances are something’s out of balance. That seems to be more common than not these days, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it. Something to get things a bit more evened out. After all, happiness isn’t something that just happens. Unless you make it so!

The post Finding Balance appeared first on The Best Me.

One of the things we do at The Best Me is help people make those gnawing-deep-in-the-gut, what-if, wish-I-had dreams a reality. We work one-on-one with you to give you the best chance for success and we customize a program specific to your goals, your needs, your actual lifestyle, and several other important factors.

But here’s something you can do right now to at least get started doing that thing you feel called to do.

We’d like you to look at a wonderful program for writers and use some of the things they do as a model for whatever goal you might have.

Each November writers from all over the world have been acknowledging their intentions to write a novel by devoting one month to that end (30 days to get 50,000 words onto the page). NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and as much as we’d love to talk about that, today we want to consider what non-writers can get out of devoting a month to an important goal.

For our purposes, let’s call this November National Me Month (NaMeMo) and let’s use NaNoWriMo as a model for getting ourselves moving on behalf of our calling (whatever that is).

If you visit the NaNoWriMo website you’ll find they offer writers a number of tools that are essential to the achievement of any goal, tools that can be applied to your own calling, and one of those vital elements is that they help you set goals that are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, & Time-Bound).

It takes more than just having a desire or a goal to make it happen. Setting S.M.A.R.T. Goals gives you the best chance. How do they work?

Your goal needs to be SPECIFIC:

When you treat yourself to a great meal in a restaurant, do you just say, I want some food? Or do you specify exactly what appetizer and salad dressing and entree and dessert you want? What type of wine? Maybe you even ask for a table by the window or one by the fireplace.

How often, though, do we get to our personal (or professional) goals and just sort of end up being vague and open-ended?

For example, I want to play piano.

Well, does that mean I play the piano that’s being stored in the attic or that I take lessons and, if so, from whom and why that person and when do I start and what do I really want to play – just the notes on the scale or do I want to learn a certain song?

Do I want to be able to play at family gatherings or one day perform in concert halls or am I just doing it for me?

There’s a big difference in each of those questions, and the actions I’d need to take to make any of them happen are also quite different.

That’s why I need to be specific!

If you look at the NaNoWriMo website, you can see that they have established a very specific goal: to write one novel in one month (but they spell it out even more specifically than that – to write 50,000 words or more, and to do so during the month of November – which they break down even more specifically, from midnight 10/31 to midnight 11/30).

So, what is your specific goal? What is the one specific thing you want to do? Write it down. See if you can identify it so clearly that there’s no question.

And maybe you have a larger goal, maybe your larger goal like mine is to be a full-time publishing author, but in order for that to happen I have to write a complete novel to send to a publisher. So I start with the goal of writing one complete novel in one month. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about fitting in revisions too. It’s simply about sitting down and writing every day if possible for an entire month to produce a 50,000 word novel.

Your goal needs to be MEASURABLE:

There has to be some element that reveals how well you’re doing along the way and, in the end, whether or not you’ve made it.

For NaNoWriMo the word count is the measurable part. Just using the word novel is still too vague. Animal Farm and Of Mice and Men are much shorter novels than The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. In providing a specific word count, the writer also has the parameters to measure success. If I get 35,000 words written, I’ve accomplished a lot, I just haven’t met my goal.

Your Goal needs to be ATTAINABLE/ACHIEVABLE:

(in some instances you may see the word Assignable also used – usually when goals are shared by a group or business).

There’s a fine balance sometimes between goals that challenge us, that push us to reach our potential, and goals that are more or less impossible. If I’ve spent the past three years getting fifty pounds overweight, and now I want to lose those fifty pounds by Christmas, that might be a bit beyond what can be accomplished safely.

When you consider New Year’s Resolutions (see our previous post about giving yourself the best chance at reaching those), the majority of people who set them tend to fail because their goals are typically not attainable (in the time frame allowed). Losing fifty pounds over five months is certainly much more attainable than doing so in 30 days. But establishing a healthy lifestyle in 30 days which can help lead you to a healthy weight might be attainable in 30 days depending upon how specific you are with what that lifestyle entails.

Setting a goal that can’t be reached in the time-frame you have is a surefire recipe for frustration and failure.

Your Goals should be RELEVANT (you may also find the term Realistic used here – but if your goal is attainable, then it’s realistic, so that seems a bit redundant):

The concept of your goal being relevant, however, takes things to another level. In order for you to succeed, truly, there needs to be some sort of connection between the person you are and the thing you’re doing. Another reason many people fail at keeping resolutions, aside from setting unrealistic/unattainable goals, is that the actions they put into place to make their goals happen don’t speak to their authentic selves. They’re not connected with the actions and what they’re doing isn’t genuinely fun for them.

Getting into shape is a perfect example. People buy so much exercise equipment each year to get into shape, they join gyms, they sign up for group classes to do things they have no real interest in doing. Walking a treadmill, going to spinning class, those things might not resonate with any part of you, so after awhile you’ll lose your desire to stick with it. But playing volleyball might resonate with you, or karate might, or maybe even a dance class or a yoga class that has you moving your body in ways that feel more “in tune” with your personality.

Setting goals that are relevant to me (like going to a Cardio-Kickboxing class three days a week for the next month) speak to me a lot more than pumping out seven miles a day on an Elliptical machine anchored in front of a dozen TVs set to the news or Jerry Springer.

Make your specific goal relevant to the you deep down inside.

Your Goals also need to be TIME-BOUND:

Sure, there’s pressure in having a deadline. That’s sort of the point. Without a deadline, there’s no sense of urgency, there’s nothing requiring you to ever actually get done. There’s always tomorrow. And tomorrow can become the enemy when it’s used as an I’ll get to it then way out. Without an end in sight, goals tend to become unwieldy. They tend to come loose and float away like an astronaut lost in space.

Deadlines can feel constricting. Yes, you may feel tethered. But in this sense, that’s a good thing. If your goals are Specific and Measurable and Attainable and Relevant, the deadline shouldn’t be too daunting.

For NaNoWriMo, for example, you get one month. It’s the same month each year. November. Chances are most of the people who take part in NaNoWriMo also write here and there throughout the rest of the year, whenever they get or make time, but for the purpose of this specific goal, they need to write those 50,000 words during the month of November. It gives you a framework and that can remove a lot of possible decisions and also a lot of potential unraveling.

NaNoWriMo is also great because though it doesn’t provide motivation, per se, it does provide the structure and necessary elements for success. The motivation is found in you. And this is true for every calling, not just writing.

Take what’s left of November and dedicate a little time each day to that one thing above all others that you truly want to do. Let this be the month you give to yourself! The month that you identify a goal that is S.M.A.R.T and related to that passion you have burning inside you. Devote this month (these 28 remaining days) to that goal.

You might just make it happen. And, even if you don’t quite pull it off all the way, once you get to the deadline and you see the progress you’ve made, you might be surprised at how much you want to keep at it.

And remember, WRITE YOUR GOALS DOWN!

The post Set a SMART Goal for November appeared first on The Best Me.

Betty’s Bees Set from Pushing Daisies

On my facebook homepage the last several weeks I noticed a few posts advertising a new pilot for a TV show to air this Friday night. It’s Mockingbird Lane – a re-imagining of the 1960’s blue-collar monster show, The Munsters.

I don’t watch much TV, so the only reason I looked twice at the posts was because of who was posting. He’s an old friend who usually makes terrifically sarcastic comments, someone I’d last seen in Ann Arbor years ago, and who I had heard was working in Hollywood now.

One of his comments beneath a Mockingbird Lane post said something like, “Hey, watch this show so I can feed my kids. I mean, my step-kids. Okay, there are no kids. Watch the show so I can buy watercraft.” A click or two taught me that my old friend, Michael Wylie, is an Emmy Award winning Production Designer. I’m embarrassed to admit this. I knew Emmy meant gorgeous dresses and famous people, but I had no idea what a Production Designer was.

A couple more clicks and I got the idea that Michael, who goes by Wylie, is doing some really interesting creative work. Since we used to hang out together in downtown Flint at the Copa nightclub, and in Ann Arbor as college kids back in the late 80’s, I figured, why not message Wylie to see if he’d be interested in doing an interview. Within minutes he replied, “Hey Shap. Sounds fun.”

That’s really all it took to get into Hollywood.

So what is a Production Designer? He heads up the art department on a film or TV show, which means he is responsible for everything visual, including set decoration, costume design, props, and visual effects. The PD is the one who creates the look of the show or film, who figures out how to visually convey its theme and emotion, and like any visual artist he works with color, shape, texture, light, and composition.

Michael Wylie is a Production Designer who worked his way up from building sets as a kid for his mom’s figure-skating shows to working with some of the most talented writers, directors, producers, and actors in Hollywood. In 2009, he won that Emmy for his work on the television series Pushing Daisies.

This past week, I lost many hours sitting on my yoga mat, in my darkened office, hunched over my computer and Hulu watching most of Season1 of Pushing Daisies. The show is visually captivating, thanks to my friend. As I researched more of his work, I realized what captivates me is his way of adding fantastical elements to designs that are very geometric, very symmetrical.

His set for the series Legally Mad is a good example of this. Placed at the center of the utterly contemporary office, whose design is dependent on the circle, there is a large tree that’s reminiscent of a bonsai, one of Wylie’s obsessions, or a folkloric spirit tree. I’ll watch the show just to see the characters spinning their dramas around that great silent character. Wylie said he just threw that in at the end.

Legally Mad Set – Office with Tree in the Middle

I don’t know how reliable my memories are from those years when I was 18, 19, 20 – there is a tendency to allow one conversation or one glance to represent the entirety of a person as if he was always this way, but I remember Wylie as tall and rather solemn, one who had a tendency to show up near the end of a thing, to remain quiet until just the right moment, and then to blurt out something bitingly sarcastic, occasionally self-deprecating, and always witty, or to lean in and quietly say something sincerely kind and sensitive.

I think his work often reflects the tension between these opposing tendencies, and the result is intelligent, whimsical, and poignant.

In the show, Mockingbird Lane, airing this Friday, he is pairing up again with writer and creator of Pushing Daisies, Bryan Fuller, and because we already know that together they tend to create magic, the show will be worth watching. If they get enough viewers, NBC will make it a series. And then, certainly, Wylie will be able to buy watercraft . . . I mean, feed the kids. So please watch!

Interview with Michael Wylie, Production Designer, Hollywood, California

TBM: What is creativity?

MW: I have no idea. But my guess would be that it is something like free-association. The image that pops up in your mind if someone says “Red Wagon” is creativity.

TBM: What’s the biggest hindrance to creativity?

MW: Fear. Fear. Fear.

TBM: What is the first creative moment that you remember?

MW: My mother was a figure skating teacher and she would put on shows every year to showcase the talents (or huge lack thereof) of her students. When her business moved to a bigger venue (IMA in Flint. She had the biggest junior skating program in the country. Go Mom!) the shows got bigger and more elaborate. Us kids became a forced labor detail and we made props for the shows. All I can remember is the smell of spray paint and some cardboard convertible cars. I loved it.

Betty’s Bees Set from Pushing Daisies

TBM: As a creative, what are some of your biggest fears?

MW: I fear that people will hate what I do. I am not bothered by people not “understanding” what I was going for or even disagreeing with my choices. I just can’t stand it when they don’t like it. I’m sensitive as hell. The other fear I have is that I don’t get the subtext that the writer had in mind and I make something that doesn’t support that subtext or, even worse, fucks it up. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer so this happens from time to time.

TBM: Worst distraction?

MW: I LIVE in distraction. I am as AD (without the H) D as they come and find it incredibly hard to concentrate on ANYTHING. Other than that, it is the attempts of others to collaborate. This is a very collaborative world but some folks love to chime-in because they cannot control their egos. A friend of mine often says, “Ask for an opinion and you’ll get an autobiography.” Truer words . . .

TBM: Do you have a ritual or habits that are part of your creative process? When beginning a new project, what patterns do you repeat?

MW: I LOVE research. Back in the day all Production Designers would have these huge libraries of visual reference. Usually big, glossy coffee table picture books. Now that’s all been replaced by the interwebs. I read the script and then start searching on my computer to find images that either support a thought that I had or blow my thought process to bits. It really is my favorite part of the process.

TBM: Who or what in your life regularly inspires you?

MW: You will hear me say all of the time, “Goddamn, people are clever.” I inhabit a world filled with creative people and we share a lot. But there are some people who take THINGS and make other THINGS out of them that you’ve never imagined were possible and it’s never a matter of, “Oh shit, why didn’t I think of that?” but more, “Goddamn, people are clever.”

TBM: Do you prefer the process of creative work, or the result? Why?

MW: For me the process wins every time. It is when the idea is at its most pure. By the time everyone else gets involved, it’s not yours anymore, and it’s been picked-apart . . . the construction guy tells you your design defies physics and the producer says it’s too expensive and that the audience really doesn’t care what the barn looks like . . .

TBM: What have you had to sacrifice in order to do this level of creative work that you do?

MW: A lot. Like many other people who have high pressure jobs I don’t have much of a personal life anymore. I’ve spent years getting up at 5:30 am and getting home at 10 pm. It is a schedule that some friends of mine have been able to make work in their relationships, but I haven’t. I also had to move away from my family a long time ago. I missed seeing my family’s families grow up and become people. It was never a decision I made. It’s just worked-out like this.

TBM: What are you doing this for (I’m interested in the intentions of creatives, the reason behind their pursuit)?

MW: Award ceremonies. Obvs.

The real answer is that I don’t know how to do anything else. I can’t do math. I can barely spell. I love MAKING things and I enjoy telling a story visually. Again it just happened to turn out this way. I never stood in a corner and said, “You know what, I’m gonna . . .” I make a LOT of money. I get to go all over the world. I meet the most interesting people and am given the keys to the most incredible locations and situations one can imagine. What am I gonna do? Work at Action Auto?

TBM: What work did David E. Kelley (Television Writer and Producer extraordinaire) see that led to him calling you up to his office and giving you the Legally Mad job?

MW: David had just started an overall production deal at Warner Bros. TV. We were just finishing Pushing Daisies and were LITERALLY in the office next door. The producer I was working with was hired to do this DEK pilot (Legally Mad) and he, and WB TV suggested me to him (Kelley). I think he wanted to play nice with WB and so he agreed to meet me. I think he was also a fan of Pushing Daisies.

TBM: How much do you interact with the writer, director, and producer of the shows you work on?

MW: A Lot. On an episodic TV show there is a different director for each episode. So the Production Designer and the Director of Photography are really the only constant creative thread. So we are given a brief at the beginning of the show and our job is to keep it consistent. A writer or producer will consult with us as the new scripts are being written to make sure that we have time and can afford to do what they are considering doing and we go back to them and suggest changes that will make things work better. It is incredibly collaborative.

TBM: At this point in your career, are you pretty much given free reign with your designs or do one of those three people give you some parameters to start with?

MW: I’m not given free reign at all. I was a bit on Legally Mad, but that was completely out-of-the-ordinary. The script is the parameter. Always. In TV the writer is the boss. I can make suggestions or come up with whacky shit but it is almost never MY decision.

TBM: How involved are you in the hands-on building of the sets? Were you more involved earlier on in your career and now you have crews that you just oversee, or are you still right in the mix?

MW: I am amazingly uninvolved with the actual building of sets. I come up with an idea and scribble it on a gin-soaked cocktail napkin and an art director or a set designer will start to draw it in a way that a construction person can understand. I will walk to the stage every once in a while and watch it go up. One of the problems (of many) that I have is an inability to judge spacial relationships on paper. So, a lot of times, the walls will go up for a set and I will have to go over and stand in it and say, “Too big,” or “Too small,” or “Wrong,” or “What the hell were you people thinking?”

TBM: Is there one aspect of the work you prefer over the rest? Your least favorite part of the work?

MW: I love all of it. I love the interaction and the collaboration and the nutty people and the HUGE egotists and the funny people. It’s a fucking three-ring circus.

TBM: At what age did you know that you wanted to work in television and film?

MW: My brother was on Mackinaw Island when they were filming a movie called “Somewhere in Time” and he told me all about it. I was hooked. Let’s call that 1978-ish.

TBM: Which artists do you admire most, and why?

MW: The Brave ones. I admire when people are not afraid and push boundaries. It’s evolution.

TBM: We both spent time growing up in the Flint area, not typically considered the most inspiring of cities, and yet some of the most interesting and creative people I’ve ever met are from this struggling part of the mid-west. How much of an impact does your home turf continue to have, if any, on your creative work or sensibility?

MW: I have considered this question MANY times. It seems like the answer lies in the city itself. There are a lot of immigrants and working-class people who ended up there and started making some actual money. Not rich, but actual money for laborious work. And I think they thought to themselves that it might be possible for their kids to have a little something better. I think there was a commitment to education there that I don’t hear other friends talk about. We had magnet programs and really involved teachers and SURPRISINGLY involved parents and we were NURTURED. Friends of mine from this shitty high school ended up at Harvard and Stanford and so many at Michigan. And those who didn’t go to school went SOMEWHERE and expanded their minds. I don’t know how this all happened but it did.

TBM: In a 2009 issue of Perspective, your story about your work appears along with one by Stuart Craig – Production Designer for the Harry Potter Movies. In that issue Stuart Craig writes, “When people have praised or been impressed by the Harry Potter sets, it’s always the detail that does it for them; but for me it’s not about detail—at least not at the beginning of the process . . . For me, Harry Potter was always about form. Detail and atmosphere are hugely important but are seductive and unreliable. I have never started with either.” Craig studied at the Royal College of Art in London. Your journey was a little different. When I read what Craig wrote, I was reminded of conversations in the world of poetry. There are those, the formalists, who begin with form, and who value the fertile ground that the pressure of working within those boundaries creates. Others, of course, appreciate free verse, perhaps the image and anecdote being a little like Craig’s detail and atmosphere. Do you begin with form or with the seductive and unreliable?

MW: I have zero formal training. I couldn’t hold more than a 2 sentence conversation about Design Theory. Alls I know is I like what I like. And I get hired because I have a point of view (also because I’m an utter delight). You get mere seconds to make an impression on a viewer and your set is meant to be the descriptive part of the screenplay that no one is allowed to read. Mrs. Haversham’s house is like it is for a reason and that reason had better become incredibly obvious or you have failed to tell the story. Production design is a tool. It replaces words. It gives feeling.

TBM: Your designs are very geometric, very symmetrical. In Pushing Daisies, the design is sumptuous. It feels like a period piece-meets contemporary piece, and maybe that’s because of the fairytale nature of the story, but was there a time period you were off-handedly alluding to with the design for that series?

MW: I am accused of stealing this look from Amelie. I saw that movie after I was accused of stealing it. (btw I did an AWESOME job of guessing). I like conflict. Conflict makes things vibrate. Geometry and symmetry are also big faves. It’s my style. It’s my comfort zone. You should see my goddamned house. But that crazy mishmash of styles and textures helped the story because all-at-once you were in a world that didn’t make sense and yet there were relatable items that made you feel grounded and homey and safe. Barry Sonnenfeld directed that pilot and he has a VERY clear visual vocabulary. I just nestled into it and tried to make it fun and not look like Desperate Housewives.

TBM: You wrote me that you believe Bryan Fuller, the writer/creator of Pushing Daisies, invented a new language with this show. How so?

MW: The way that the characters talk to each other. It’s fast and alliterative and, often, prosaic. It’s like how people used to talk in old movies. I’m not smart enough to figure it out. But me likey.

TBM: I think you invented a new language with your design work. In a TV interview, one of the show’s stars, Kristen Chenoweth, said that when she saw how visually beautiful the show was, the colors in particular, she knew she wanted to be a part of it. That says a lot about your work. There are sets, and then there are the sets with this show which in many ways remind me of the collaboration between a story book author and its illustrator. Is your working relationship with Fuller different than you’ve experienced with other writers?

MW: Yes. Bryan has the best memory of anyone I’ve ever met and his recall is even better. So, when you start talking about ideas, he’ll say something like, “Oh, have you ever been in that cave under the Paris Opera house where they have . . .” and that will send you off to the interwebs to find that cave, and there will be 36 different ideas on the way to and from the computer. He is also afraid of nothing. There is no idea too stupid or too out there. He is my hero in too many ways.

TBM: Was there an intention going into this project for this deeper level of collaboration because the show just doesn’t look like anything else out there (the sets profoundly impact the mood, delight the senses, and seem in some instances to be characters in the show)? Why would the network cancel such an innovative, artistic, wonderfully imaginative and poignant series?

MW: The sets were always considered characters on the show. Wardrobe too. In one episode you’d be in a dam and the next in a windmill and the next in a bar for jockeys. It was no accident. The show was expensive and really hard to make and, at that time, the numbers we were getting didn’t support the costs. Commerce.

The Pie Hole Set from Pushing Daisies

TBM: The audience at home sees one set at a time. I’ve been told that, depending upon studio space, some sets are created, then disassembled and reassembled when needed. You have at least three sets that seem to appear in every episode of Pushing Daisies – The Pie Hole, Emerson Cod’s Detective Office, and the apartment to lesser degrees. But The Pie Hole also has three distinct areas (the kitchen, the counter, the booths & front door). Once those sets are created, are they kept somewhere to move in and out for shooting (how is that handled and what challenges does that create)?

MW: There was one stage at Warner Bros that contained The Pie Hole, Emerson Cod’s office, the morgue, and the apartments. They were always standing and dressed and lit. We had other stages to build the episodic sets. Everything on that show was built. There were no locations. You can see how we managed to use everything over and over. The boys school set became the mansion that became the Dim Sum restaurant that became the Department store. All the same set redressed and repainted. Clever, Non?

TBM: How much interaction does a Production Designer have with the actors and how can that enhance or add obstacles to your work?

MW: I avoid them at all costs! Actors are very nice people and I love them outside of work. But at work they are very selfish and egotistical and do NOT understand that because THEY like something as a person that the character they play has the same aesthetics. It is maddening. I sometimes run when I see them coming my way. Not all. But . . .

TBM: You’ve worked for Madonna, Prince, Luther Vandross, and for and with some of the most talented writers, producers, actors, and directors in Hollywood. Is there one trait that you can discern and/or habit that you have noticed all these creatives share that makes them and their work so compelling and so successful?

MW: Not in the least. There is no path to this work. Some people are really nice. Some people are SHITTY. Some people are famous for doing nothing, and there are tons of people doing really great stuff that you will never hear of. Some people have great ideas and have no idea how to get them made.

Michael Wylie (center) with Emmy for Pushing Daisies

TBM: You won an Emmy for your work on the Pushing Daisies series. Did that award put new pressure on you as a creative professional and how do you deal with that?

MW: We won the Emmy. I made a speech. Then you are taken backstage and they give you another statue (not the pretty TV one) you do some interviews and then go back to your seat. It’s all terribly exciting and weird and wonderful. But in the time it took for me to get through that whole process, my agent (along with a ton of other people) left a voicemail on my phone that said, “Congratulations on the win. Just remember one thing . . . this changes nothing.” I was pissed!! But, as it turns out, she was right. Nothing changed hugely. I sometimes get jobs now without having to interview. I get paid a bit more. But the best thing is that it erased another layer of fear for me. It also allowed me to be perceived as someone who ‘knows what they are doing,’ even though no one knows what they are doing.

TBM: Writers are often familiar with the concept of the necessity of sometimes needing to “kill your darlings,” but cutting out favorite words, lines, scenes is never easy. What is it like for a Production Designer, someone who exists entirely behind the scenes and yet, without whom, there would be no show, when one of your darlings needs to be killed? (Maybe a director says, “no” to a design element.)

MW: We have a little trick we play called The Red Doorknob. Because it is the nature of people to want to mark their territory, we always put something glaringly wrong on a set so a director can come in and just be angry and say, NO! to it. Then we all look depressed and change it for the thing we were gonna put there in the first place and everyone is happy. Plus if you are a person who is really precious about things like that you shouldn’t work in showbiz.

TBM: What is the unifying thread among all the work you’ve done?

MW: Color. Texture. Whimsy. Sense of humor. Dedication to the words and the story.

TBM: What’s your biggest ambition? What direction would you like to go in next?

MW: It would be very nice to get to do some big movie work. There are so many jobs that I would love to get my hands on. It’s very difficult to make that switch. The good news about Production Designers is that you can work for a LONG time. There are lots of designers in this town (well, in this business. They don’t make movies here anymore) who are well into their 70s. So I still have another 45 or so years to get there.

I am also going to start getting an opportunity to direct some of the shows that I work on. That will be fun.

TBM: This Friday Mockingbird Lane, a re-imagining of the Munster series, will air. Is it going to air as a pilot for a new series, or is the network going to air it as a Halloween special? What was the biggest challenge for you in designing this production?

MW: NBC is airing it as a special, and the thinking is that if it does well they will back a couple of short seasons of it. Like 5-8 episodes a year. Like cable does. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on that show. I read the script and it is SO different from the old series and such a cool retelling of the story that I HAD to be involved. I wanted to be the guy that got to re-imagine the Munster’s House. How cool is that?! It was a troubled production, and I think it was not our best foot that we put forward, but I am sooooo fricking proud of the work that we did. I hope you watch it.

We’ll be watching! The show, Mockingbird Lane, airs this Friday, October 26th, on NBC at 8pm.

To learn more about Michael Wylie and his work as a Production Designer, visit Wylie’s website.

And for a Special Visual Treat (the photos in this post can’t fully convey the visual and emotional depth of Michael’s vision) watch his demo reel, HERE.

The post One of the Brave Ones: An Interview with Wylie appeared first on The Best Me.

The trees aren’t the only things changing, the leaves aren’t the only things that fall this time of year . . .

What if you didn’t have to make that New Year’s resolution to lose weight or to get in shape or to eat healthier? What if you were able to get to 2013 without the guilt or the disappointment or the frustration that tends to greet so many of us with the coming of each new year?

When I was just a boy my dad told me something that stuck with me and that has certainly shaped me (in more ways than one). He said, “it’s a lot easier to stay in shape than it is to get in shape. So the more you maintain your fitness now, the easier it will be to maintain it as you get older.” I may have very well rolled my eyes when I first heard that (the way teens tend to do these days when someone older shares insight), but my ears were obviously tuned in on his words. I’ve experienced the difference between staying in shape and getting back in shape. One is easier. The other makes things a bit more complicated.

This is the time of year when moods shift and spirits fall like the leaves, as if some sort of emotional gravity begins tugging at our minds and our hearts more and more as we amble through what remains of autumn and trudge into winter.

Part of that is due to shorter, darker, colder days. We are solar powered, after all. But it’s also the result of our living even more indoor lives after spending a summer reconnecting with the outdoors.

It’s this time of year, right now, when many of us start to disconnect again from the outside world. As a result, we also start to disconnect from ourselves. And, in some ways, that plays a part in our need to make those resolutions with the coming of the new year.

According to an article in Psychology Today, the most common resolutions are: losing weight, exercising more, and quitting smoking (as well as reducing stress, taking a trip, volunteering). What’s surprising about the most common resolutions that people make, however, is the fact that, according to Time magazine, these are some of the most commonly broken resolutions: losing weight, exercising more, and quitting smoking (as well as those others mentioned above).

We often set ourselves up for failure. It goes back to what my dad said all those years ago. It’s easier to maintain something (like health & fitness) than it is to undo it or to get it back once you’ve let it go. Of course, that doesn’t mean if you’re already out of shape you shouldn’t bother. It means that if you start now to put a new habit in motion, your chances of maintaining that habit in the new year increase. And right now, before the holiday season really hits, is the perfect time to start.

There are a number of online sources claiming that it takes 21 days or 28 days or 29 days or 30 days (you get the idea) to create a new habit. Let’s say it takes 30-60 days (I’ve been told, fifteen minutes a day for fifteen days can help you develop a consistent writing practice or thirty minutes for thirty days can help you establish a consistent fitness routine and I’ve found both to be true). Sometimes, on day 17 or on day 32, life throws us a curve ball. The more days we’ve been at that new thing, the more likely we’re able to work with (or around) the curve balls.

So rather than wait until January 1st to put into motion those elements necessary to be healthy and fit and to feel good (physically and mentally and emotionally), why not start now?

Here are 5 things you can do right now to reduce the need to make those health resolutions in 2013 (and to help you stick with them if you do):

1. Get to a Gym – fitness centers provide a few things that are great for developing and maintaining a healthy practice. They have other people there trying to do similar things as you which can add motivation and also provide a sense of belonging (the lack of which are often two emotional triggers to those down moods the coming months often augment), they have classes, they often have trainers.
2. If getting to a gym will not work because of a lack of time or money, invest in a piece of equipment, but let’s be honest, how many people do you know who own a piece of exercise equipment – like a treadmill or stationary bike – that they got with the intention of achieving a New Year’s resolution, that’s become a clothing rack? I think equipment works best for people who’ve been working out at a gym, but who desire the reduced time restraints that come from having access to equipment 24/7. And the reduced cost over time is also a motivator for equipment, but not the motivator that is most likely to keep you using that equipment “over the long haul.”
3. Walk – did you know just going for a walk can often help reduce some levels of depression and anxiety – thanks to an increased production of endorphins (which make you feel good) and serotonin (which reduces stress)? Walking is an effective way to lose weight, over time, is less hard on the body than running, and it’s also a wonderful way to work through challenges or to come up with solutions to problems. There are physical benefits, but also emotional benefits as walking every day can “enhance self-esteem and combat depression.”
4. Yoga – you may have noticed that gyms tend to have lots of mirrors, they tend to be filled with people doing a lot of looking at and analyzing of their appearance (which is fine if you’re already in shape, but can be a bit of a stressor if you aren’t). Yoga is built upon a philosophy of non-judgment. It’s not about comparing yourself to others in the class. It’s about turning inward and it mostly comes down to you and your body. Not only can yoga be an incredible workout for the body, but it often serves as a way to calm the mind, to assuage stress, and you learn techniques for mindfulness that can carry over to pretty much any part of your life where you might need or want more presence.
5. Eat Quality – forget diets, forget about forbidding yourself the things you want . . . eat only the very best quality of whatever you’re going to eat anyway. If you’re going to eat a hamburger anyway, buy grass-fed, organic and local beef. If you’re going to eat chocolate anyway, buy the highest quality and darkest chocolate possible. If you’re going to eat chips, buy baked, organic, vegetable chips. By the time the holidays get here, you’ll be so accustomed to great quality food, which tends to satisfy you sooner and more completely, that you’ll be less likely to over-indulge in all the junk that causes most of the problems to our health anyhow.

By getting your body moving regularly now, by eating high quality foods regularly now, you give yourself a better chance of already having these two things as established habits by the New Year (which increases the chances that you maintain those good habits consistently in the future and also means you won’t have to spend a lot of energy trying to undo damage that bad habits can cause). This is a simpler way of getting to where you want or need to get.

The post Making Life a Little Simpler appeared first on The Best Me.

How Do You See Yourself?

Since the beginning of September I’ve been leading my daughter’s freshman volleyball team through a twice weekly yoga class. The intention was to work on improving flexibility and core strength.

Many of the girls enjoy the practice and they smile when I arrive. A couple have said that they’re practicing at home, that they’re noticing changes. Of course there are also several girls who look annoyed when I enter the gym. A couple of them have such tight hamstrings, hips, and lower backs that it would be easier to bend a spoon with their minds than to reach their fingers to their toes.

We’re also learning how to focus our attention and that we don’t need to look outside of ourselves for the truth. We’re learning that we live in a body that deserves our attention, love, and compassion, and there are a couple of girls who will not tolerate any of it. They’re tired. They don’t care about compassion. They want to hit the ball, and they don’t want to tune into the sensations of their body. They can’t seem to tolerate being in their own skin. If you were to give them a choice between spending half an hour slowing down, breathing deeply, and tuning in or spending 2 hours being pummeled by an opposing team, they’d choose the latter.

Mind/body practices like yoga open the channels of communication between outer and inner. It forces you into meeting yourself, you get glimpses of the entire history or herstory of the human body that is stored in your very cells. It asks you to listen to the body- to the great storyteller that expresses itself through movement, that speaks through its sensations, rhythms, temperature, aches, scars, wrinkles, colors, stature, imperfections, and more.

Yoga is challenging in unexpected ways, even for tough athletes, especially for teenage girls, for anyone in a time of transition, searching for an identity. In too many ways our consumer society tells our girls that an identity will be given to them depending on what they can afford. Yoga tells them that they will find it by turning inward, that the truth of who they are is right where they are.

Despite yoga master B.K.S. Iyengar’s admonition that “the asana will not come by making faces,” I find it fascinating to watch the expressions on the girls faces when they are holding a standing or balancing posture, when I ask them to make subtle changes to their alignment, to tune into the sensations that arise as they continue to hold a posture. There’s something about the way they crinkle up their foreheads and roll their eyes up and sometimes bite their bottom lip – such strange, new territory.

There’s something hopeful about a group of teenage girls twice a week being asked to NOT compare themselves to anyone else, no matter what, for the next hour, and to trust what they’re feeling. I wish I had heard this message weekly at the same age. It’s okay that one of the girls spends most of the class scowling. It doesn’t matter that some cannot help laughing, their entire body shaking, whenever they get into child’s pose and press their foreheads into their mats. It doesn’t really matter that a couple of them whine more than they breathe. And it’s okay that some of the girls don’t want to close their eyes in savasana while some of them fall instantly asleep, their feet or hands occasionally twitching. For an hour or so every week they’re strangers in a strange land. They’re taking the road less traveled. How else should they behave?

There’s something endearing about sitting for Namaste before these girls. I ask them to close their eyes. They do. I tell them they are beautiful. Just as they are. And a few will open one eye and look at me as if checking to see if I mean it. I mean it.

The post The Truth of Who You Are Is Right Where You Are appeared first on The Best Me.

Wyoming – Beautiful and Vast

It’s fascinating to me how I can have all the essential ingredients for a post like today’s (those primary ingredients, in this case, being interview responses from poet and author Lesléa Newman) and still spend days trying to figure out just how to get started. Not for a lack of ideas, but from an overabundance.

I’ve spent the past few days running through a list of relevant themes (from “understanding” to “empathy” to “compassion” to “belonging”) and each seems to warrant consideration. Each seems to demand it’s own place, not just in today’s post, but in several.

Late last night, after I’d been in bed reading for awhile, I finally decided to shape today’s blog around empathy and compassion. Of course, this morning, that changed a bit, after I spent an hour working on my YA novel, Mr. Bones. I’d finally gotten to a new chapter, to a new scene – one in which the protagonist (Gabe) and his best friend (Swatch) and their sworn enemy (Tyler) discuss the classic novel Of Mice and Men while working on a group project for school.

Unbeknownst to me, Swatch had come to a conclusion on her own about Steinbeck’s characters. She stated that nearly all the characters in the book wanted a piece of land to call their own. That theme is presented in the very first chapter – as George and Lennie discuss their shared dream (the “American Dream,” as it’s been called), but in many ways Swatch asserts it’s really just a human dream – when George says that “Someday . . . we’re gonna have a little house and a couple acres an’ a cow and some pigs and–” Lennie interrupts, “An’ live off the fatta the lan’ . . . An’ have rabbits.” I’ve always been especially drawn to that scene because it so deftly conveys Lennie’s childlike aspirations in the context of the much larger dream, one that, as Swatch pointed out to me and Gabe and Tyler this morning, is shared by most of the characters in the novel.

But, Swatch also suggested that the dream of being independent, of having something to call their own, might have also been written by Steinbeck to represent an even more basic human need (not shelter, but the need to belong to something larger than yourself).

One could argue that Lennie, with his limited faculties, simply wants to pet soft furry things. He says as much. But Swatch had a hunch that maybe what he really wants is something in his life that depends upon him, something to love and care for (even if he’s proven, time and time again, that he’s incapable of doing that without tragic consequences). It’s not about him using his sense of reason, but about his being compelled to belong, to be part of something bigger than he is. And that seems an essential part of the human condition.

Most of the characters in Steinbeck’s novel (George, Candy, Crooks) intimate as much in their actions and their dialogue. Swatch thinks maybe even Curley and his wife are simply seeking some sort of connection, some semblance of fitting in, in a place where none of the main characters truly fits in. As a matter of fact, the one way they do seem to fit together, the one thing they do share in common, says Swatch, aside from that inherent need to belong, is their inability to realize it, their un-success, their ineffectualness in making it happen.

I wasn’t sure why, today of all days, Swatch had her epiphany (and please note that her views are not necessarily shared by The Best Me, I’m simply conveying what she suggested because I think it might be relevant to, well, everything really, but especially to today’s interview).

Lennie, George, Candy, Crooks, Curley, and Curley’s Wife are all quite different from each other. Those differences allow each of them to offer something to the group that the others don’t seem capable of offering (their uniqueness brings with it something potentially useful to the synergy of the group, yet also seems to limit just how successful they might be at truly being themselves while being part of the group).

This is, hopefully, relevant to the young adults who will one day read my novel, for adolescents often struggle mightily with the paradox of their need to be individuals and their need to belong. We all seem to struggle with this at various times in our lives, not just as teens.

As a writer, I’m isolated in my work and even more so by the fact that only a few of my friends “get it” (less than a handful seem to understand that writing isn’t just playing with words, it’s an immersion into a larger conversation). I mention this because Lesléa Newman’s new book, October Mourning: A Song For Matthew Shepard (which came out three days ago), focuses on the very tragic consequences experienced by someone who was perceived as different. Someone who had a right to belong, and to be himself, regardless of how well others may or may not have believed he fit with the group at large.

Steinbeck’s novel got Swatch and Gabe (and even Tyler) to see things they may not have seen, at least not in the way they did, and that’s often one of the reasons a writer sits down at the page in the first place. Of course, there are as many reasons to write as there are writers – some do it to have a voice or to lend a voice to those who may not have one; some write to heal themselves, some to heal others; and some write simply because the act brings them “the satisfaction and sense of completeness nothing else can.”

Joseph Conrad claimed, “My task . . . is, by the power of the written word to make you hear, to make you feel – it is, before all, to make you see. That – and no more – and it is everything.” His intention was to get people to hear, and to feel, but more than anything to see. For others writing is a special lens, a way of seeing for themselves; it helps them to understand (themselves and the world).

For Lesléa Newman, writing is a way to “to understand, not to be understood.”

Understanding. To make sense of things. To make sense of ourselves. Of the world around us. Of specific events. Of what it may have been like to be a particular other person, to have experienced a certain sort of treatment, to imagine how wonderful or unfathomable it might have been to witness this or that, how horrifying or infuriating or inspiring depending upon the circumstances.

This is the essence of empathy which is defined as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, or experience of another . . .” That doesn’t mean there is understanding with absolute certainty. But there seems, at least, some attempt to understand, some intention to experience some other life (if only for a particular moment in that life). Yes, we may share a connection with someone without setting out to do so, but empathy relies on your willingness to share that experience and your intention to understand it, to feel it, to live it if only through your imagination. And that intention, that act, I believe, is a noble one. It’s what many writers set out to do.

It’s something from which we might all gain new insight into our own lives and a new perspective on our troubles and our joys.

To me, it’s Newman’s attempt to understand and to empathize that I admire most. Her desire to immerse herself into an extremely unpleasant experience (as is the context for October Mourning) with the intention of understanding herself and the event and the world and, as she says, “the relationship between” them.

TBM: Your new book, October Mourning (which was published this past Tuesday – 9/25 – and which I’ve seen classified as a YA novel-in-verse), is set up as a series of poems that explore the impact of the savage death of Matthew Shepard who was 21 at the time he was brutally murdered by two young men in Wyoming and abandoned on a buck rail fence for over 18 hours before he was found. He died five days later and the events became highly publicized.

Your arrival on the scene in Laramie was, it seems, relevant in a number of ways. But why write your interpretation of those tragic events now? What were the unique challenges, if any, in writing about an event that is already so heavily chronicled?

LN: Eleven years after Matthew Shepard was killed, I watched THE LARAMIE PROJECT: TEN YEARS LATER, THE EPILOGUE and was absolutely stunned by it. It was like the decade between the present moment and the past when I was out in Laramie completely collapsed. The play brought everything back so vividly. That night, I couldn’t sleep and wrote the poem “Wounded” that appears in the book. I was the poet laureate of Northampton, MA at the time, and I was spearheading a project of writing 30 poems in 30 days to raise money for literacy. Each day another poem poured out of me. The poems were unstoppable. It was as if they had been waiting to be let loose. When the 30 days were over, I kept going.

I wanted to explore the impact of the crime through the silent witnesses: the fence Matt was tied to, the truck he was kidnapped in, the stars that watched over him, etc. I wanted to see what I could learn about myself and about the world by exploring the impact of the crime in this way.

TBM: What did you learn about yourself (and how) through the writing of the poems?

LN: I learned that I was capable of writing a cycle of 68 poems! And I learned that this hate crime has sunk deep roots into my soul. And that my truth about what happened that night–which is only MY truth, not THE truth since we will never really know what happened–matters very much to me. I felt called to explore the impact of Matt’s murder in this way. My hope is that the book will help prevent anything like this from ever happening again.

TBM: And what did you learn about the world?

LN: I learned that the world is full of sorrow. And that the world is full of beauty. I also learned a lot about what the human heart can endure. And finally, I learned that in utterly tragic situations, the very best of people comes forward. And I find that very inspiring.

TBM: What struck me most about the book, having read it a few times, was the collective impotence conveyed there. Many of the poems are narrated by inanimate objects (or animals). As a result, this is a book, it seems, of witness without action (or, perhaps I should put it, with an inability to act).

The acts of violence against Matthew, the act of discarding his body in such a desolate place, these acts are noticed and observed by many things (the pistol used to beat him, the fence where he was left, a doe, even the man in the moon, etc) and each of these scenes takes place at a time when he could have, perhaps, been saved. Yet none of those “silent witnesses” has the ability to help him. Ironically, it seems, the few people who speak in some of the poems either failed to notice anything, or they were aware but didn’t do anything to stop what happened (or they came into the story after Matthew’s death). The juxtaposition of these two extremes seems to heighten the impact (for me at least) of that impotence.

LN: That’s a very interesting observation. There is definitely a comparison between good and evil throughout the book. And helplessness on the part of the inanimate objects and animals that could not save Matt. And yet there are small acts of kindness. The deer for example, chooses to keep him company all through the night (this is based on fact: when Officer Reggie Fluty arrived at the fence, she observed a large doe near Matt get up and depart, as if she had been keeping him company throughout the night). And the fence cradles Matt “just like a mother.” I like to think that the natural world comforted him as best as it could during his ordeal. Though perhaps that thought only comforts me.

TBM: The poem “The Fence” conveys the irony that the fence (and in some ways Matthew himself) will be remembered as a symbol for the events of that October morning back in 1998. The Fence is the cover image for your book, as well. Would you explain the significance of that fence (not just for the structure of the book – as a recurring speaker and as cover image – but overall).

The middle of nowhere suddenly becomes the middle of everything.

LN: The fence was out there on the prairie minding its own business, not hurting anyone, and all of a sudden, it got involved in a horrendous crime that never should have taken place. And the cruelty of Matt being tied to a fence out there all alone throughout a bitterly cold night and an entire day really upset people in a very deep way. The fence became the central image of the crime – it was on the cover of Time Magazine, for example-because of its beauty, its innocence, its isolation, and its strength.

Matt remained alive not only for those 18 hours, but for 5 days afterwards, allowing his family to come from halfway around the world to be with him and say goodbye to him. That took a tremendous amount of strength. I’ve been to that fence. It’s solid. It’s grounded. There’s something about that place-I was there with Jim Osborn, a friend of Matt’s and he said to me, “I love this place and I hate this place.” I knew what he meant. The prairie and the fence are a place of great beauty where so much ugliness happened. The fence is an instant reminder of what happened and what can and must never be forgotten.

In his Nobel speech, William Faulkner stated that the “poet’s, the writer’s, duty is to write about [the human heart in conflict with itself]. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past.”

And, perhaps, it’s also the writer’s duty to illuminate the absence of these things, not for the sake of pointing out the darkness that is also an indelible part of the human condition, but to remind us of the tragic potential that internal conflict has if not tempered with courage, honor, hope, pity, sacrifice, compassion.

In October Mourning, Lesléa Newman reveals that potential darkness by exploring the futile empathy, understanding, and even a sense of belonging which are not conveyed by the human characters, but by the inanimate objects and the animals – by the “silent witnesses.” This is not done to suggest that there isn’t hope for us, but actually as an attempt by the writer to understand the events for herself, and, perhaps, to get us to hear, to feel, to see. To try to understand for ourselves.

To read the entire interview with Lesléa Newman, CLICK HERE.

We’d love to hear from you about ways writing or reading or some other activity perhaps helps you to understand yourself or the world or the relationship between them.

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